Well, to be honest, the descriptions are 100% accurate, but indecipherable to anyone who doesn’t own a pet!
Personally, I think Artificial Intelligence makes a pretty good fantasy/sci-fi/every-thing-but-the-kitchen-sink artist, but it has a lot of catching up to do in the pet department!
Um…humanoid/eagle/dragon/warrior in dire need of a haircut?
My reaction to every one of these AI-generated pictures: 😕🤔🤷🙄
When people say that AI is going to take over…🤨…it needs to own a cat first. Then it will learn, like all cat owners servants, cats are the true rulers.
Thanks for joining me today! I hope you found this post as absurd and bizarre as I do! There are a lot of things going on around the globe right now, but I think it is important that we all do our best to spread hope and light during this tumultuous time. So I wish you, readers, no matter where in the world you are, safety, happiness, and health. Thanks again for visiting Today’s Furry Moments!
I had a lot going on in my personal life, and I sort of have disappeared for the last couple of weeks. My ghost has been running the blog.
Just kidding…there were some scheduled posts waiting in the wings.
The reason for my disappearance was that my family had to surrender Rex. Rex was such an amazing dog and Winnie’s best friend. He provided much of the inspiration for my posts here on Today’s Furry Moments. We didn’t want to give him up, but it was for the safety of a younger family member. Rex would randomly show aggression to this family member. Sometimes it would be weeks without an incident, but then Rex would suddenly lash out. We think that something deep in his past is causing him to act this way, despite his sweet, loving personality. It was only a certain type of group – girls ages 6 to 12 – that would trigger him. He has an unknown history and the behavior could be a product of abuse or mistreatment in his early life. The no-kill shelter we adopted from took him back, and he is already a staff favorite there. I volunteer there as well and have been told that he loves playtime and has adjusted well.
Winnie is also adjusting and has been very sad lately. She also keeps trying to play with the cat 🥹. No more double dogs, I guess.
Despite only having Rex for four months, he was a treasured family member and the star of TFM. I miss him a lot but know that he will find a loving, wonderful home where he doesn’t feel threatened, and where he will not feel the need to be aggressive.
This is his bio on the rescue site:
“Rex is a loving gentleman who is ready for his forever home! He enjoys playing with other dogs and is looking for a home with older teens or adults only. If this handsome man looks like the one for you, please come by and meet him today!”
I choose to think of it like we fostered Rex. He learned commands, manners, and how to use the stairs. He got lots of love during a difficult transition from stray to house dog. Now he’s ready for a new family.
Thanks for sticking with me! Let’s all send happy thoughts to Rex and his future forever family.
If each of my pets were their own species…from the achooicus to the derpicus! The world is full of interesting animals – including those that live with us in our homes.
Also, I have to note that this is a satirical post – although it would be pretty cool to discover a new species!
Felis derpicus
Peaches
Felis derpicus is a close relative of Felis catus. However, the derpicus is much larger and rounder. It is fluffier and derpier than any Felis catus. To have a happy Felis derpicus, you must have large quantities of boxes and bags, which the derpicus needs for shelter and amusement. Unlike Felis catus, the derpicus has almost no prey drive and evolved solely to play with hair ties and imitate a throw pillow. It occasionally thinks that it is a dog. You can always identify a derpicus by its signature throw pillow pose. When petted in this position it will flip upside down and make strange squeaking noises.
The stomachus is a domesticated canine similar to Canis lupus familiaris (dogs), but with one important anatomical difference. The Canis lupus stomachus has a stomach that extends into its cranium. The brain is merely a small cluster of neurons located at the entrance to the stomach. The stomachus can eat almost anything and spends every waking hour of its life searching for food. They are generally very friendly and cute, but it is all in hopes of obtaining food. The stomachus can be difficult to distinguish from the regular domesticated dog. The main means of identification is a food test – since the stomachus will eat anything, dangle the least appetizing item you have in front of its face (for example, a hairball or anchovies). If the specimen attempts to eat the item, it is likely a stomachus.
Canis lupus stomachus
Winnie
Canis lupus achooicus
This canine is certainly very unique. It is much like the domesticated dog and the stomachus, but with a few key differences, especially in behavior. For one thing, the achooicus rarely ever barks. When excited, happy, or attempting to bark, it bares its teeth and sneezes violently while wagging its tail. The tail of an achooicus is long and curly, more like that of a cat. The achooicus loves meat, bagels, carrots, and running. It is a very loving species and may have sneezing fits every time you enter the room.
Rex
Fancy and her silkie buddies
Gallus gallus flufficus
The Gallus gallus flufficus is a close relative of the chicken. However, the flufficus is much smaller and fluffier. They are completely flightless and have few if any survival instincts. They are adorable and friendly, however, and much smaller than most chickens. They like dried mealworms and wearing tiny bandanas.
Pogona insanis
The Pogona insanis is a type of bearded dragon that is slightly crazier and more insane than its fellow Pogona species. The insanis is much smaller and only has one eye. It will often jump off of high surfaces because it believes it can fly and will approach other household animals as if they are best friends, despite the potential for being eaten by said animal. The insanis loves being picked up and petted.
Dill the beardie
Could any of your pets be one of these new species?
Hello, fellow cats! It has been a while, but now I’m here to share some of my best stealth secrets with you. They’ll help you steal extra food from right under your hooman’s nose! Let’s get started.
The Rule Is Don’t Get Caught
Your hooman has lots of rules, right? No jumping on the counter, no sleeping on the kitchen table, etc. And definitely no stealing food. But are those really the rules? The dogs would agree, but we cats know better. Anything goes – as long as the hooman doesn’t catch you.
When I’m extra bad (like eating the tacos that were for the hooman’s dinner), the hoomans will lock the cat door so I have to stay in the basement. This rarely happens. Why? 1. I don’t get caught and 2. I’m so adorable that punishing me makes the hooman feel guilty. If you get caught in the act, try your best to be as innocent and adorable as possible, and your hooman won’t be able to resist!
Blame The Dog
Sometimes, the hooman won’t realize what you did until afterward. This is a perfect chance to get the dog back for being smelly or sniffing your butt. Plant evidence in the dog’s bed – crumbs or bones work great. If you don’t have a dog to frame, you can put the blame on one of the other hoomans. Plant evidence in the hooman’s favorite chair or on their desk. Now you get away clean, and you get to watch someone else get blamed!
Make Friends With The Small Hoomans
Lots of us cats have to deal with small hoomans – they try to pet us with their sticky hands and sometimes even put us in clothes, or color on us with markers. It’s awful! But, if you do it right, you can teach the small hoomans how to interact properly with cats, and make them your loyal servant forever!!! Act as you would around a big hooman and be extra nice – let them pet you, sit on their laps, etc. If the small hooman tries to do something bad, bop them in the head with your paw, no claws. They’ll soon learn. By manipulating the small hooman you can also get treats. Small hoomans don’t usually like the food that they get for a hooman time called dinner. They like to hide it in napkins and pockets so they don’t have to eat it – and sometimes that includes yummy steak and meatballs and chicken. One of my hoomans used to hate eating chicken, so I got a huge chunk of chicken at least once a week. The bottom line is: Make friends with small hoomans. They will sneak you food.
I know exactly when my hoomans are making tuna fish salad. There’s a specific fishy smell, and there’s celery and mayonnaise on the table. If I run in looking super cute, they always throw me a chunk of tuna. Know your hooman’s routines and how best to manipulate them into giving you extra food.
Rex would like to issue a formal complaint about our recent winter trip to visit some friends.
Hi Hoomans and fellow doggos.
I am Rex! I have a sister named Winnie, and you can go meet her around the blog. But right now I must tell you something VERY important.
It’s about the Freezy Place.
You see, last weekend the hoomans decided to go to a place called Up North. We got into the car with all the hoomans, us dogs, and LOTS of stuff. Thinking about it, that should have been a red flag right then and there. There were too many jackets and hats and gloves and such. And I don’t like the cold.
Anyway, we went in the car for a loooong time. I like short trips, but I get carsick on long ones. But it was nice and toasty in the car, so I didn’t complain. Eventually, the hoomans said, “Almost there!” I know that means that we are gonna get out of the car soon, so I got super excited. The only problem was that the place we were going to was up a big, icy hill. And the car DOES NOT like big, steep, icy, unpaved hills – it growls and won’t move.
Well, everything was fine – until the car started sliding backward. Some of the hoomans screamed, and it scared me and Winnie. Actually, it just scared me. Winnie was asleep for the whole thing.
We spent a long time going up and then sliding down the hill. The hoomans screeched the whole time – “We’re gonna hit the tree!” “We’re sliding off the road!”
Well, sometime later, the people we were going to visit showed up with a big loud truck and towed us backwards up the mountain.
At one point the truck got stuck too, and then the car got stuck again. But the cabin we were headed to wasn’t too far, so we all got out and walked.
When the hooman opened the car door, I thought I had stuck my nose in the freezer! Everything was snow and ice and snow and ice! Was the hooman trying to freeze me to death? Was this the North Pole? Were we going to become Santa’s elves?
I knew that if I stayed in the cold for a second longer, I was gonna be deep-frozen doggo. So I ran up to the cabin and pulled Winnie and the hooman with me. Then I ran inside.
To my surprise, one of my friends was there! His name is Max and he’s a big yellow lab. The hoomans mix up our names sometimes because Rex kinda sounds the same as Max. I was so happy to see him that I almost forgave the hoomans for trying to freeze me to death. There were also lots of nice people who wanted to pet me and a whole cottage to explore. Me and Max and Winnie get along super well.
I did my cursory inspection of the house – you have to check all the corners to be sure you aren’t missing anything cool, like an interesting smell or a dropped cracker. I also inspected all the hoomans.
The cottage was warm and cozy and I almost forgot that it was in a freezer. But boy, when I went outside to go pee, the cold started biting me and freezing my eyeballs! I was even wearing my special warm sweater with pompoms. Max and Winnie didn’t seem to be bothered by the weather. They keep saying that they’re labs, and labs are made for cold weather. I was NOT – the hoomans say I’m a rescue dog from Texas. They say I’m half-greyhound (whatever that means) and that I don’t have a nice warm coat (my fur is short and soft). Either way, it was COLD. I told them that I would be staying inside for the foreseeable future.
The hoomans did not like this plan. Especially cause it meant I had to pee in the house. I have never, ever gone potty inside, even when the hoomans first got me. But there’s no way I was going outside – I would be DEAD and frozen within seconds.
In the cabin, they also had a little fireplace like the one at home, except it was small and in a box and heated the whole house. So I sat in front of it in my pompom sweater and tried to stay warm. It was miserable.
Winnie and Max didn’t seem bothered by the cold. The snow was up to their shoulders and they went SWIMMING in it! Crazy labradors. The hoomans said it was NEGATIVE 20 DEGREES! That’s about -30 for you Celsius people.
At night, the hoomans put on an extra warm breeze called the furnace. I slept in my hooman’s sleeping bag in front of the fire with the furnace on and my sweater. The next morning, the hooman wrapped me up in a blanket and I refused to move except for breakfast. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take! Luckily, we were leaving that day.
Except, to get back to the car, I would have to walk around in the freezer, on the snow and ice! The hoomans practically had to drag me outside. Winnie and Max thought it was hilarious. I did not. The wind cut straight through my favorite pompom sweater. Every time my paw touched the snow, it felt like it had frozen off. I tried limping, but I couldn’t figure out a way to keep all four paws off the ground.
As soon as the hooman looked away, I ran all the way up the road back to the warm cabin, and the hooman had to drag me back to the car again.
But FINALLY, the car got warm and toasty and I fell asleep. Back at home, it was 5 degrees Fahrenheit (still really cold), but it felt like a sauna after that.
My advice: Never EVER go Up North to the Freezy Place. It is WORSE than getting your tongue stuck to the kitchen freezer.
I want to create an Instagram or other social account for my animals – but I’d like to focus on only one pet. But which one? You get to decide. Please take a look around my blog at https://todaysfurrymoments.home.blog/ and check out the featured animals. Then come back here and vote for your fav! Feel free to tell me why in the comments.
I’m not looking for which pet is “better” – I love them all! I want to know which pet YOU think has a personality that shines through in its photos and posts!
The winning pet will get a social account with pictures, videos, and original content. And maybe I’ll teach it how to paint?
Your options:
Rex the rescue pup
Winnie the purebred black lab
Peaches the rescue cat
Dill the one-eyed bearded dragon
Phil, Fancy, Pumpkin, Sweet Pea, and Ostrich – the fluffy Silkie chickens.
Today's Furry Moments 